holding my breath

These days, most of the time I feel like I am holding my breath. Waiting for what is to be. Wondering several things. How will I handle whatever is to come. Will I be full of grace and humbleness? When, when will it be? Why, yes I do wonder why at times. Where, where will this lead me? What? What will become of it all? Then I sigh, turn to my Lord, and let the tears fall. I feel better then, for a spell. Yet in spite of holding my breath and my lack of faith at times I know that God loves me and only wants what is best for me. He holds me and gives me joy each and everyday.
Thank you Lord for your love