holding my breath

These days, most of the time I feel like I am holding my breath. Waiting for what is to be. Wondering several things. How will I handle whatever is to come. Will I be full of grace and humbleness? When, when will it be? Why, yes I do wonder why at times. Where, where will this lead me? What? What will become of it all? Then I sigh, turn to my Lord, and let the tears fall. I feel better then, for a spell. Yet in spite of holding my breath and my lack of faith at times I know that God loves me and only wants what is best for me. He holds me and gives me joy each and everyday.
Thank you Lord for your love

Proverbs 31

1The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

2What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

3Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.

6Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

7Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

8Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

9Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

When I read this, I know that I am not this woman. Oh, at times I have strived to become her. To the Proverbs woman is like a superwoman of today. All of the things that she accomplished. Then I remember that I am to be like Christ. Oh Iknow Lord that this is just an example, one of many, but days, or times in my life when I know in my heart that I fall so short of what I know you expect of me. Your love and grace amazes me daily.

my heart

"Be still and know that I am God"

Peace? wow cool

I guess, no I know that it is a good thing that the Lord doesn't allow us to see into the future. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to control the things that I control. This being said, not working is hard because I have no control. The odd thing is that I have extreme peace and I don't know why. You can laugh at me and say whatever...but it is true. Sure I have moments, big ones at times, but for the most part I am at peace. Each day I am doing MY part to find work. (that is another story) My only wish is that I would be able to visit family while I am not working. These are my beautiful "children" They are wonderful!! Thank you Lord for giving them to me!! They make my heart glad.

i dont know

i understand the need to vent. i dont understand the need to tell all. i am hurt, and in pain. please Lord help me.

blessings

Thank you Lord for the many blessings. My beautiful grandchildren, being able to spend lots of time with them. For taking such good care of us Lord. Help me to grow closer to you each day. Give me the desires of my heart Lord. You are faithful.

faith

faith, do i have faith? where is the line for faith and common sense? somedays i dont know. today is one of those. today is a day with little faith. i know i dont need much but seem to be having trouble finding that grain. my head hurts, from thinking so much. i should just let go. but how to do that when so many things need attention. whats next. only you know Lord.
help me. hold me.