Walking in Life's Garden

holding my breath

2010-06-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

These days, most of the time I feel like I am holding my breath. Waiting for what is to be. Wondering several things. How will I handle whatever is to come. Will I be full of grace and humbleness? When, when will it be? Why, yes I do wonder why at times. Where, where will this lead me? What? What will become of it all? Then I sigh, turn to my Lord, and let the tears fall. I feel better then, for a spell. Yet in spite of holding my breath and my lack of faith at times I know that God loves me and only wants what is best for me. He holds me and gives me joy each and everyday.
Thank you Lord for your love

Proverbs 31

2010-02-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

1The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

2What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

3Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.

6Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

7Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

8Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

9Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

When I read this, I know that I am not this woman. Oh, at times I have strived to become her. To the Proverbs woman is like a superwoman of today. All of the things that she accomplished. Then I remember that I am to be like Christ. Oh Iknow Lord that this is just an example, one of many, but days, or times in my life when I know in my heart that I fall so short of what I know you expect of me. Your love and grace amazes me daily.

my heart

2010-01-11T17:10:00.000-08:00

"Be still and know that I am God"

Peace? wow cool

2010-01-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

I guess, no I know that it is a good thing that the Lord doesn't allow us to see into the future. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to control the things that I control. This being said, not working is hard because I have no control. The odd thing is that I have extreme peace and I don't know why. You can laugh at me and say whatever...but it is true. Sure I have moments, big ones at times, but for the most part I am at peace. Each day I am doing MY part to find work. (that is another story) My only wish is that I would be able to visit family while I am not working. These are my beautiful "children" They are wonderful!! Thank you Lord for giving them to me!! They make my heart glad.

i dont know

2009-12-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

i understand the need to vent. i dont understand the need to tell all. i am hurt, and in pain. please Lord help me.

blessings

2009-12-21T16:50:00.000-08:00

Thank you Lord for the many blessings. My beautiful grandchildren, being able to spend lots of time with them. For taking such good care of us Lord. Help me to grow closer to you each day. Give me the desires of my heart Lord. You are faithful.

faith

2009-12-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

faith, do i have faith? where is the line for faith and common sense? somedays i dont know. today is one of those. today is a day with little faith. i know i dont need much but seem to be having trouble finding that grain. my head hurts, from thinking so much. i should just let go. but how to do that when so many things need attention. whats next. only you know Lord.
help me. hold me.

mom said that my heart would get stepped on

2009-11-15T19:43:00.000-08:00

Lord my heart hurts. only you can help. help me not to feel like i am not worth anything. like all i do is for naught. i know that you love me and i know i do the best i can. each day can be so hard and you give me grace to do my job...so that i can pay my bills. yet i guess it isnt enough. i feel like i have been slammed against a wall. i love you Lord, you are my only constant.

2009-08-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

i know i havent been here in a long long longgg time. i miss my blog. life is life. each day is a blessing no matter what it holds. help me Lord to remember that.

bob and mandy

2009-02-17T14:14:00.000-08:00

bob and mandys wedding was lovely. i am so blessed to have such wonderful children. all of them. i know i dont express that enough to them. thank you Lord.

change

2009-02-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

most of the time i do well with change. at least i think i do. however, today i upgraded to comcast and now have a different email. this is no big deal...however..i have lost all of my favorites etc :(. i am recreating my favs to include everything i had...i hope. this is a comfort to me and i feel unsettled. i think it is because i a fearful of losing something important that i had.
oh well. i will adapt!!

happpy new year

2009-01-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

i haven't blogged in a long time. lots of things have happened. that's life isn't it?? anyways it is a new year, bob is married to a wonderful young lady. the wedding was lovely, and i am so happy for him. this year is a new slate....we shall see what is to be written on it. so far i have lost a boss, gained a temporary one, gone to a wedding and have a cold!!! i was so glad to see my grandchildren. i just wish that i was feeling better while i was gone. one of my goals is to be able to see them more often this year. i also want to take time to live. i am tired...and i need a break. help me Lord to keep going....but allow me some rest.

fill me

2008-11-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

i am grieved. as i grieve i can only imagine how many times i have grieved the Holy Spirit. comfort me Lord and give me widsom. thank you for loving me.

such a good dog

2008-10-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

i found this picture today. i miss you abby

the fair

2008-09-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

the deerfield fair is the second thing that i remember purposely doing to create new memories after jim left. the first was getting our abigail.

yesterday howie and i went to the fair. the school went as well. we got there at 9 am and stayed until 7 pm. i had not been to the fair in several years, and i loved it. i am thankful that i was able all of those years ago to do something so simple with my children as to go to the fair.

i remember

2008-09-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

it was beautiful out today. i enjoyed my day off immensely. why is it that days off are sooooo short???. it seems that they just fly by. but it was peaceful and relaxing. thank you Lord for that. today is september 11th. on that day in history i was sleeping on my couch, as my home was getting sound proofed. i had worked the night shift. it was hard to believe then, and still hard to believe today. however i do feel safe and secure, because i know that my Lord is in control of it all.

in rememberence of all those who lost their lives

2008-09-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

i had a blast watching bob and mandy look at stuff to register for. it was amazing to me that bob is so "into" it. i am so happy for them and thankful that bob has found his soul mate.

2008-08-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

so i have been told to update my blog. well lets see. bob is coming to visit tommorrow. i am so excited. i need to have some energy left after my week, so that we can all enjoy each other. we are going to go to bed bath and beyond....bob said that mandy wants me to go with them to register...hmm, are they just being nice? lol..thats ok....i will love being able to do that with them.

MY FAMILY, MY JOY

2008-08-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

angel and jasmine in brazil. i know jimmy misses them terribly.

i love being able to watch my family interact....even when i cant physically be with them. it hurts because i cant....but it gives me much more joy than i can say. thanks guys i love you all

i am not crafty

2008-08-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

sooo, i decided that i would really like to learn how to make jewlery. the other day i headed to michaels...they have some nice stuff, but no classes. and since i lovvvve to wait to do things, i went to acmoore tonight. yes they have classes, every other WEDNESDAY...sigh. AND they are 20 bucks each PLUS materials. sheesh. so i decided that i would just have to teach myself. Hence my battle wounds. i stuck my finger with a needle. i tore the cuticle of my left middle finger, and my eyes HURT. lol anyways it i dont know if i will ever LOVE it...but for now i will keep trying.

dakota

2008-07-29T18:37:00.000-07:00

dakota is not happy with jennifer ....leaving him. he has been clinging to crystal constantly. he is very sweet, and loving.

happysad

2008-07-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

as i watch jen getting ready to back to college, i am both sad and happy. even tho we don't spend much time together, i enjoy her presence immensely. i will miss her joyful spirit, and awesome outlook on life. at the same time i am thrilled for her to be able to go back (especially after it took it so long the first time:) ! my prayer for her is that she will continue to grow closer to the Lord.

drawing nigh

2008-07-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for each day. the Lord is always in the same place. It is i that does the moving away from Him. Hold me tight Lord. Give me exactly what I need each day.

my butterfly has flown away

2008-07-15T19:05:00.001-07:00

so i just got off of the phone with amanda. my heart is breaking. i miss her so much. we butted heads everyday...but i love her dearly. i know that the Lord gave me this love for her. it was patience and understanding that i needed to ask for more. my prayer is that she will be strong, and know that she is loved. i long for the day she will come home.

tongue

2008-07-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

I know that our tongue is the smallest member of our body, and the hardest to control. I also know that what is in the heart will come out the mouth. Eventually. But you know what, I hate it when it does. It is never when you what it too, because then, we would say all nice and good things. Well my tongue got me into trouble because it did what my heart was thinking. sheesh even my heart is deceiving me. I am thankful for forgiveness, and that I can learn and go on with life. Nope, I am not gonna confess. Tis enough.

Look Out!!

2008-07-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

I added Crystal to our car insurance this week.....sigh. Crystal has been given the "rules" of driving...Moms rules that is. No gas after dark, call when you leave, etc etc. I am sure that it won't be long before she is yearning for a car of her own! Oh, and by the way Jimmy....YOU moved away from me...so tis only far that you move back. Love ya

day is done

2008-07-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

some days seem longer than others. this isn't so bad when you are having a great time, or just veggin. Today was a longgggggg day at work. But it is over, till Monday anyways. I got to drive a 2008 mustang all day on Wednesday. It was AWESOME!!. However, i have no desire to own one....just let me drive one from time to time.

short evenings

2008-06-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

So today I decided that I am really missing out on alot of things with my kids. The oldest ones I mean:). I have a blog now I also have facebook. Now, facebook seems much more challenging to me...but I WILL master it:) I am waiting for it to cool of a little outside, so that I can walk in my real garden. The kids all poke fun of our yard, but I enjoy it, and it gives a great deal of peace when working in it. One day they will say....guess what we like to garden!!!! So I am going to go enjoy this short evening, because work will be here again soon.

Amanda

2008-06-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

There have been many times that I so desired the quietness that would come without Amanda being Amanda. Now I have that quietness, yet all I can hear, and see is Amanda. Lord keep her safe, make her strong, forgive me for not being what she needed me to be.

my garden

2008-06-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

When trying to decide what to name my blog, all I could think about right now was the song, I come to the garden alone. So, this is my garden. The kids, well, they aren't kids, will get a good laugh that mom has a blog. That's ok. I love them anyways.